✒️Today:
I spent most of today in a kind of mental fog, knowing I have a lot of work to catch up on before Monday. I couldn’t motivate myself to get up and work even though I have a lot to do. It gave me anxiety, yet I still couldn’t do it.
Today marks one week since I rushed Myles to the ER and the first day off I’ve had since he died. I started the slow and painful process of beginning to let go of some of Myles’s belongings. I kept his very first two toys from when I adopted him in 2011. I chose to let go of the other toys that weren’t his baby toys, along with his brushes and food. Even though I know holding onto those things doesn’t bring him back, it still feels like a painful betrayal. I am trying to remind myself that letting go of these items is not betraying him or erasing his memory, but it is very hard to feel that way. There is still a long way to go before I fully sort through everything I don’t intend to keep.
💭 Mood Today:
I had a strong mental fog and lack of focus. I felt anxious throughout the day as I knew I had work to do but lacked the energy or concentration for. I have anxiety over my relationship possibly ending and having to move out of our home. I felt grief over the loss of Myles.
🐾 Hope’s Footsteps:
Hope had a quiet day. The sky was overcast with light rain and thunder, so I didn’t want to take her outside since she’s afraid of storms and can’t get her ears wet. I also haven’t had a chance to clean out my car for rides yet.
🎮 Games / Progress:
I played OSRS today. I did my first four Slayer tasks today. I also organized my inventory. CJ patiently helped me with both.
🌸 Self-Care Notes:
My self care was fairly low today. I’m proud of myself for getting out of bed despite how I was feeling. I did not take medications or vitamins today. I did eat two meals and drank some water. I ordered more vitamins and some hygiene items.
🌿Nicole